What Ramadaan means to me
Today we start the holy month of Ramadaan. It’s more than just a month of starvation (because let’s be honest guys, we’re just skipping lunch and snacking at our desks), it’s a month of reflection and for many Muslims (like me – I am not perfect y’all and it embarrasses me to admit it) it’s a month where we try to be better. Where we try to forge a deeper connection to Allah (swt) and what it truly means to be Muslim. The first day tends to be easy for me and then day 2 and 3 are difficult but after that I’m okay.
Fazila wrote a great post on being more than just a surface Muslim and it resonated so much with me. So this Ramadaan, I’m hoping and trying my best to finish the entire Quraan for once. My mother does it every year but I’m a slow reader and with a small child I have even less time. But inshallah I will make the time. I plan to read quietly to myself on the trains in the mornings and afternoons with my handy Quraan app on my phone (what a world y’all!) so that gives me an hour each day at least. And I suppose I will have to wait for The Munchkin to have a nap or go to bed on the weekends to get some reading done.
Like Fazila mentions, I want my son to grow up with a love for Islam. Not just a sense of “we do this because I said so and you must” which is the WORST way to instill a love for anything. And this is really something that Madressa’s need to change, their approach to teaching is not the best. But as parents we lead by example, and more than anything I have to show him how much I love Allah (swt) and how we show that love; through prayer, reflection, helping others and being kind.
I struggle with two very big things which are frowned upon by the Muslim community and that I’m more than likely getting judged on: wearing hijab and making my prayers on time (sometimes one or two even slip by) and I’m riddled with guilt. But every Ramadaan without fail these two things are in full force in my life and I feel so much better about myself, I feel almost lighter if that makes sense. I don’t know why I can’t follow through once Ramadaan ends but please pray for me that this is the year it carries on because I’m going to try my hardest to make it happen.
To all my readers who are also fasting during this wonderful month, I wish you a month filled with peace, love and spiritual upliftment.